ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
