I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize