East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
