I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dick very happy bro
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
