i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
