Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you made out with another girl for some wings
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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