Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
