i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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