Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
