Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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