I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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