I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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