The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize