genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
