Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I touched a dick in church today
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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