She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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