my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
