I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
