If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
