She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
