so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
