Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
