Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
