So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
