i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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