Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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