if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
