He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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