I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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