still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
