This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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