11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
