Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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