This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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