Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
