Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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