Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
A bitchslap is in order.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
