For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
