Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
