yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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