I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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