I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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