you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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