I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Randomize
