She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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