Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
