So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
