Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
