You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize