so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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