So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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