You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
