You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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