nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
