Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
