I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
