hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
